


Strength

by fineinthemorning



Series: It Would Be a Tragedy [4]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 07:15:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5530661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fineinthemorning/pseuds/fineinthemorning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Banjou wakes Kaneki up from a nightmare. It's important to recognize Kaneki's strength does not lie in muscle alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strength

**Author's Note:**

  * For [optimustaud](https://archiveofourown.org/users/optimustaud/gifts).



> I'm sorry! This was rushed. I was so scared to write Banjou, but I would do it for you~! Thank you for your friendship and constant kindness! Merry Christmas!

It was not uncommon for Kaneki to fall asleep on the couch. It was the first time, however, that Banjou had witnessed Kaneki having one of his nightmares. The long strands of his snow white hair were plastered wet on his face from sweat. His brow was knit together in pain as his eyes searched frantically beneath his eyelids. 

Rarely was Banjou reminded of Kaneki’s age, or at least, that he was in fact older than the person he looked to as his leader, but as the half ghoul went from clenching to gnashing his teeth, all while remaining asleep, he was reminded that Kaneki, no matter how strong he was physically, was still strong in his acceptance and handling of transforming from a human into a ghoul. Clearly, this acceptance came at a high price, but it was only in these moments when he showed some amount of vulnerability that it was evident that he still struggled daily with the tragedy. Banjou recognized that it took strength even to pretend to be strong when battling matters of the heart.

Hinami, Tsukiyama, and the other three were all out gathering supplies for an upcoming mission. Banjou couldn’t consult Sante or ask advice from Ichimi or work together with Jiro in handling the half ghoul’s clearly fragile state. They’d probably just end up making fun of him, anyway. He sighed, but a smile resembling something of a smirk spread on his lips. He was lucky to have them. 

And what did Kaneki have?

“Mo-Mom-”

Banjou moved closer, careful to move the coffee table out of the way first so his large frame didn’t knock something over and wake up his friend in a far less gentle way than intended. Yes, Kaneki was more than someone he looked up to; Kaneki was his friend.

Kneeling beside him now, it was clear that the half ghoul was managing to cry in his sleep, a few tears falling as his eyes continued to frantically struggle for control beneath his eyelids.

“Hurts-it hurts-”

“Kaneki?” he tried waking him with his voice alone. His concern was urgent, and perhaps his voice should have been more gentle, but it was rare to see Kaneki cry as he was now. It was more than a little unsettling. 

“Mooom-” the half ghoul's lips parted. It was difficult to tell whether he was screaming or begging.

“Oi, Kaneki, it’s a dream, wake up-” Banjou touched his shoulder gently, his whole hand large enough to go around it completely as he shook him gently.

He jerked awake, hand reaching out to push the ghoul away, but not reaching far enough, “Ah-”

Rarely were Kaneki’s gray eyes so expressive. They were wide with fear, pain, betrayal fell from them in the bitter tears that sprinkled the couch cushion.

“”It’s okay, Kaneki. You’re okay.” 

And then, the half-ghoul fell inside himself and his eyes went blank. His face relaxed and he managed something of a smile as he sat up. “Thanks.”

“Hey, no problem, Kaneki.” Banjou waited. He would be patient. If Kaneki wanted to talk, he would, but he wouldn’t pressure the guy.

A little embarrassed by the situation, Ken wiped away at his eyes with the backs of his hands and a small laugh rose up from his lunges, “I-uh-haha- I had a dream my mom hurt me.”

Banjou blinked, a bit confused on how to proceed. Kaneki didn’t seem bothered by it now, but that was part of his strength, wasn’t it? 

Kaneki filled in the blanks quickly, “It’s not a big deal. I just miss her.” Kaneki stretched and patted the couch for Banjou to sit down, too. He noticed that the coffee table had been moved. Leave it to Banjou to be so thoughtful over something as small as a nightmare. As Banjou sat up and moved the table back before sitting on the other side of the couch, Kaneki went on to explain his dream, “You’ve heard that before, right? Sometimes, the brain will process emotions by giving you dreams about good people doing bad things to you. It’s a way of sort of balancing things out. You have someone in your life that’s always been kind to you, and so, as a means of balancing it out, you dream about that person betraying you. It would never happen, but your brain processes these possibilities as a means to prepare you.”

Banjou stared, considering the words. Was this something Kaneki had read in a book? It made sense, but it was kind of sad in a way. He crossed his arms, “I’ve never heard of that.”

Kaneki gave a soft smile, “Well, it’s true. Haven’t you ever had a dream about someone you care about hurting you?”

Banjou, with his arms still crossed, closed his eyes and thought back on any dreams or nightmares he could actually remember having. He didn’t sleep well enough to dream that often. He could remember a dream where Jiro played a prank on him involving Rize and a human heart and didn’t apologize. Somehow, that didn’t really feel like the same thing Kaneki was describing though. “Not really,” he admitted honestly.

Kaneki laughed and continued stretching as he stood, reaching his hands up to the ceiling as if attempting to grab at it from stretching alone. “Maybe Hinami’s luck is rubbing off on you.” Kaneki knew  _ that _ wasn’t true, but it brought a smile to Banjou’s lips, so it was worth it.

“Oh, that’d be nice,” Banjou admitted as his smile grew.

“Meet me on the roof in a minute?”

It was an invitation to spar. Banjou nodded, “Sure.” Whatever had bothered Kaneki in the dream seemed to be okay now. Banjou was grateful. Kaneki had enough on his plate already. He couldn’t imagine the half ghoul having to add nightmares about his mom to the list.

Banjou was grateful that Kaneki read enough to have a reasonable explanation for why he’d have a nightmare about his own mother hurting him. Banjou needed to practice reading more, too.


End file.
